does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
