I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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