with your own penis?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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