Dual....:-)
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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