what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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