So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
