.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
