marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
