left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
