You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Randomize
