Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
