He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
