I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
