i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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