Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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