you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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