I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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