Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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