we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
