We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
