So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
