my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
