If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
