The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
