Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
