I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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