I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The air was thick with penises
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
