Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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