Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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