He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
