Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
