i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
