kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How naked do you want me to be?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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