he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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