Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
