i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
