Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
