I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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