I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
