Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
