he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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