omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
