she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
