so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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