So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize