I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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