We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
