Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
