Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize