How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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