You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
