Whod you bang
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
