Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
