I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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