I want to have your abortion
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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