He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
