First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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