I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize