Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
