The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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